i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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