is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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