Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
