My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I have post one night stand depression
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
