oh god the rape fog is back!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Blood and glitter go together right?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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