I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
