They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
