hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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