Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize