You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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