My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
