rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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