You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize