it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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