I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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