somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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