absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
