A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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