My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
