Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
