Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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