just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
