Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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