When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize