I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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