Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dick very happy bro
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
