i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
