i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
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That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
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I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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