Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?