It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios