Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left