my vag is so smooth its legendary
I should be sponsored by Trojan
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk