fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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