Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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