Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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