I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
