Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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