Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
