i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
nutella sex= disaster
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize