I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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