guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize