You just made me feel so damn special
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
