elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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