Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
