i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize