Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
