He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize