I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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