Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
