ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
