My room smells like vodka and shame
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
