He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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