I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Watching her eat just hurts me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
