You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
