JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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