if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
