I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize