Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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