In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
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I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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